Pieces Of Unsolicited Dating Advice You Should Continue To Ignore
People love to throw advice around that they don't even follow. No one knows your love life better than you. Plus, love really doesn't have rules. It's more of a case-by-case basis. Don't let others dictate what you should or shouldn't do.
Especially if it happens to be through one of the following pieces of advice. Trust us, they're more toxic than they are helpful.
"Let Them Come To You"
The truth is nothing gets handed to you in life. If you want something, or someone, you have to go get it! Plus we can't expect others to magically read our mind and assume we want them to make a move.
If we get rejected then at least we don't waste time waiting around.
"It Will Happen When You Least Expect It"
It's true that you can't force or rush love. However, love isn't going to come and find you all the way at home in your onesie while you binge-watch Netflix for the third weekend in a row.
To find love, you need to put yourself out there to a certain degree. You're not helpless—you have control over what happens in your life.
"Meeting People Online Is Dangerous"
It's always married people who haven't needed to date in two decades that give this sort of advice and they simply don't get it. We don't meet perfect suitors the old-fashioned way anymore.
We need a platform to find them and connect with them, even if that comes with a small risk of them being a serial killer on the first date.
"Don't Say That, You’ll Look Needy"
Granted, we all have something to work on and should never depend on anyone else for our own happiness.
However, if you simply can't contain how much you care about someone and need to show them affection, then that's who you are and you shouldn't be reprimanded for it. If they can't handle it, then they're not right for you anyway.
"Opposites Attract"
You don't need to share all of your partner's hobbies and interests, but you do need to find common ground or you'll crash.
If they're a homebody who is content with little and has no goals, meanwhile you're an extrovert who dreams big, then you're likely not intended to walk the same path.
"You're Moving On Too Quickly"
Would they rather watch you cry yourself to sleep over an ex another night? Moving on has no deadline or start date. It takes as long as you feel is necessary, as long as your interest in the next person is genuine and not based on the need to fill a void.
Otherwise, they become a rebound which doesn't help either one of you.
"Give Everyone A Chance"
Unless you have all the time and patience in the world, this is practically impossible. We all have our types, preferences, and standards. You should be congratulated for upholding them.
Don't waste your time. If you know from the get-go that there's no chance someone will grow on you, then what's the point?
"Don't Pressure Them With Labels"
Why are we so scared of labels? If you don't want them to see anyone else but you, then your needs are valid. We don't have time to play games.
Asking the big "what are we" is the first step to building healthy boundaries and working on effective communication so that you're both on the same page.
"Don't Sleep With Them Until The Third Date"
It's not the 1800s anymore. It's your body and you should do whatever makes you happy. If you only feel comfortable waiting, then that's perfectly acceptable.
If you find intimacy important when choosing whether or not to pursue someone, then go ahead and find out!
"They Have Too Much Baggage"
Does anyone not have baggage anymore these days? You know you're not perfect and so you shouldn't expect someone else to be. The difference is in how they handle their baggage.
You don't want someone who's going to project their issues onto you, but you also are capable of accepting the one you love for who they are.
"You're Not Getting Any Younger"
This is always a good one to throw back in their face because neither are they. Time is relative. There is no set date on when you should be doing anything. Many of those who get married young get divorced anyway and you end up being ahead.
What matters is when the timing is right for you.
"Play Hard To Get"
If you're looking for a mature grown-up relationship then you shouldn't be playing anything. You don't want them to play with your heart so why play with their mind? This always backfires one way or another.
They get lost in the signals and get tired of the chase eventually.
"Always Look Your Best, Just In Case"
The odds of you meeting your soul mate during your next grocery store run are not that high. They're probably too busy on their phone anyway. Wear what makes you happy and comfortable.
Even if you happen to run into your soul mate in a hoodie, then they'll take you for your natural beauty.
"If He Can't Accept You At Your Worst, He Doesn’t Deserve Your Best"
Listen, we can all only handle so much. You're not anyone's responsibility. If you're only able to be at your best 10% of the time right now, then you can't expect them to put up with the other 90%.
They can try to support you, but it eventually becomes draining for them too.
"As Long As You Have Love, That's All That Matters"
Love is an important and necessary foundation for any relationship, but it's only step one.
That solid foundation you're building together also needs to include trust, communication, honesty, and mutual respect.
"Don't Go To Bed Angry"
It's not actually pleasant to go to bed mad at your partner, but sometimes it's better than speaking in the heat of the moment and saying things you don't mean.
Sleeping on an argument gives you space and time to think so that you can better approach it after some rest.
