These People Wonder Why They’re Single After Making Entitled Demands On Their Tinder Profiles
Ah, the internet—you've bestowed so many benefits since your creation, such as information at our fingertips, communication with family and friends, and countless pictures of cats.
What's the best part of all? The joys of online dating and the colorful cast of characters looking for love. But after looking at these Tinder profiles and the ridiculous, demanding, and utterly insane requests they want in a potential partner, we don't think they'll be saying their "I do's" anytime soon.
Until Death Do Us Part
While Andrea here might not actually be single, we're willing to bet she will be soon after her Marine Corps husband finds out about her side hobby.
We hope whoever her new beau is doesn't mind suddenly becoming a stepfather to a bouncing baby.
An Honest Romeo
Looks like this guy is a fan of casual socially drinking and he's 6'2. Okay, you have piqued our interest.
But in return, what is this man looking for then in a potential Juliet? Apparently, just her genitals because he's "not a fan of girls." That's a category five-sized yikes. He does know they're attached to each other, right?
Well, That's A First
Dating apps have become notorious for people who have very specific preferences in a potential partner. One of the most specific requests is women only being interested in men who are six feet tall or higher. But not this woman.
This Redditor explains that the woman in question is only four feet and 11 inches tall, yet very clearly states that if you're a man who's over six feet, take a hike, you Amazon.
Motherly Instincts
This budding entrepreneur is a proud mom, but if you happen to be a father yourself, you might want to swipe left.
Remember, guys, Mother Teresa over here says that "Just because I have a child does NOT mean I have to accept yours." Looks like her kid isn't getting any new siblings anytime soon.
Queen Casper
All Arianna wants is to find a man who will not ghost her. But it seems as if Casper over here doesn't know the meaning of "double standards" because Ariana will—in her own words—"probably ghost you all day."
So while she is actively working on herself as a person, she might need to work a little bit harder.
Take A Breath, Michael
Michael sure might like women who give blowjobs, but it seems like it's he who needs to slow down and take a breath because I am winded after reading this monologue of a Tinder profile.
Perhaps he'll find a woman who loves run-on sentences as much as he does and then they'll live happily ever after.
"This Gem Of A Man"
This is Matt. Matt has a long laundry list of "preferences" that he considers must-haves in a potential soulmate, such as traditional values, a specific height/weight, not being a nag, and even having a good credit score. But above all else, you better not be a feminist or else his head will explode.
Dude, that's not called having a "preference," that's called trying to customize your own perfect woman like she's a car.
"America Is A Very Strange Place"
Without having to say very much in her profile, this woman somehow packed a lot of information about who she is as a person and the type of person she's not interested in dating.
Masks keep my face warm in the winter and they act as a disguise when I'm out in public and see someone I don't want to talk to. She's really missing out.
Five Stars Or Bust
Self-proclaimed CEO Natalina here claims that "life is not about the appearance" and then in the same breath says only men who have a luxury lifestyle, stay in five-star accommodations, and travel the world should contact her.
"I ain't saying she's a gold digger..."
Dun Dun
This burly bearded bear of a man has a list of desired qualities in a woman, such as being fun, liking dogs, and enjoying road trips. And then afterward the profile spirals off a cliff.
And to top it all off, despite being 38 years old, his potential bachelorette must be between the ages of 18 and 26. Isn't this the part where the Special Victims Unit detectives from Law & Order show up?
It's Been 84 Years...
Sending nude photos can be a hot topic for many people. While some view it as a way to maintain intimacy over long distances, others view it as a breach of privacy.
But then there's this woman. She learned an extremely valuable lesson from watching Titanic and only has one request for a potential man: No sending each other nude photos or you might end up like Rose from Titanic. God, thanks a lot, Jack.
A Spot Of Tea And A Full Gas Tank
So what is 80 British pounds in U.S. dollars? You better be willing to shell out $110 worth of gasoline on Ella each month if you want to stand a chance with her.
Also, you must like tea. But what kind of monster doesn't like tea? That's the easy requirement!
Giddyup, Cowboy
Attention all men: Do you like eating beef? Are you interested in becoming a father one day? Do you love to ride dirt bikes? And are you secretly into women who look like Vikings? Then, boy, have I found the lady for you
What's the only thing she asks of you? "Looking for a VERY compact man to ride on my shoulders so I look cool."
One At A Time Now, Ladies
In Sean's world, you're only a "real woman" if you help him take care of his three kids, have an income of your own, and—best of all—are "submissive." Those kids sure won the jackpot with their dad!
Ladies (and potential future stepmothers), please form an orderly line.
High Standards
Woah, woah, woah—look at Ms. High Standards over here!
One happy Redditor commented, "I might actually have a chance." With a bar this low, you just have to take a leap, because at this point, what do you have to lose?
The Cat Lady
"Project manager Amy" sounds very driven and accomplished from the look of her profile, although her list of must-haves in a man is as specifically demanding as they are numerous.
"What kind of cats do you think she's gonna have?" asked one Redditor.
The Damper The Better
Now, there is a lot to unpack here with this one. What sparked this man's love of wet clothes? What does he look like? Does he not know how to take a bubble bath? And most importantly, what kind of sadist enjoys lounging around in perpetually wet clothes?
All I can say is, ladies, if you're willing to take a leap of faith with wet clothes guy here, good luck.
What Was Your Score?
This user's very creative Tinder profile has potential suitors add and subtract their score depending on the desirable/undesirable traits they possess. However, you're only allowed to swipe right if you score higher than 15 points.
Woo hoo, I scored an 18! Love connection, here I come.
Meet Mary
On the surface, Mary's story is a tragic one—her husband has terminal cancer. While we're sympathetic to her plight, it's the next half of her requirements list that has us asking, "Um, what??"
So, guys, if you're interested, Mary's offer is "quick, safe, no strings." But even if I were a man, I'm going to stay very far away from this one.
Honesty Is A Virtue
This is May. She's 19 years old and apparently has a great sense of fashion. Pretty girl, right? Except it's not May who is looking for love.
Posted by May's boyfriend, he says that he's finding her a replacement before breaking up with her. While I'm sure May will have no problem finding another (and better) boyfriend, this guy might not have as much luck because he just showed his true colors.
