Women Share The ‘Seemingly Small Gestures’ They Wish Men Did More Often
Whether you’re married, dating, or secretly crushing on one of your friends, relationships are confusing. There are definite “must do’s” and “do not do’s” when it comes to love, and users on Reddit are breaking out their list.
User Lordofspades_notgame asked Reddit, “Girls of Reddit, what are some seemingly small gestures you wish guys did more often?” Men, break out your pencils and paper and start taking notes.
Put The Phone Down
It’s no secret that today’s society is glued to their cell phones. But, sometimes it’s best to just put it away so you can focus on the moment and the person you’re spending time with. Instagram photos of your dinner can wait.
“Putting their phone away during quality time, especially at the beginning," wrote one user. "It shows they’re focusing on you and the conversation/activity, and I think it’s the ultimate sign of effort."
Say My Name
A big thing for commenters involved conversation. Whether a “good morning” text or a phone call to see how your day is going, communication is key.
“Using my name when talking to me. [I don’t know] how to explain it but hearing the right person say my name gives me instant butterflies,” a user shared.
It’s All In The Details
Is your girlfriend’s birthday coming up and you have no idea what to get her? Well, according to ladies on Reddit, one thing they wish guys did more was to pay attention to the tiny details—because you never know when they might come in handy.
“Literally just remembering stuff," wrote one user. "If I say I like something, remember it, bring it up in conversation, use it as a jumping-off point for gifts... just keep little mental notes about things I might like."
I Like Warm Hugs
Humans are social beings, and as important as our need for social interaction is our need for physical touch. So why do hugs feel so good? When we engage in physical contact with someone, such as hugging or cuddling, our body releases a bonding and “love hormone” called oxytocin.
“Just a hug ... it's so magical sometimes,” one user wrote.
Random Surprises
Sometimes it doesn’t need to be a special occasion for someone to surprise you. Additionally, those surprises don’t need to be lavish or extravagant, but many women on Reddit said small and random acts of kindness—such as a handwritten love note or flowers—are a must-do.
“Any gesture of thoughtfulness,” wrote one user. “From a ‘thinking of you’ text to an ‘I know these are your favorite’ small gift."
Cleanliness Is Next To Happiness
Being an adult sucks sometimes, and one of the hallmarks of adulthood is doing chores. If a couple is living together, users feel that chores should be split among the couple, and doing them without being asked is a big way to earn valuable points.
“Something my bf does is the dishes or makes the bed. I’ll be at work and come home to things cleaned up,” shared one user. “The little things matter. Especially when you don’t have to ask.”
Humor Me
Everyone loves a good sense of humor, and in fact one of the biggest things men and women find attractive in a partner is humor. One thing Redditors wish guys did more often is not only being able to dish out a good joke but also being able to take one too.
One user shared that, “I've been on two dates with this girl I'm talking to, and I can be quite sarcastic at times (trying to tone it down). She, however, comes back at me twice as sarcastic and I love it, it really makes me feel appreciated somehow.”
Physical Affection
One of the biggest love languages out there is physical touch.
Whether kissing, cuddling, forehead kisses, or holding hands, many women emphasized the importance of physical touch as a means of feeling close to their partner. They also said that a gentle back rub, scratching their head while cuddling, or giving a massage are acts of physical touch that make them melt. But, as they point out, it doesn’t always need to escalate to sex.
Being Treated As An Equal
Not all of the Reddit suggestions involved husbands or boyfriends, but some of them involved their male friends. One user pointed out that her male friends were always there to support her, but, most importantly, they treated her like an equal.
“I had male friends [in] college that I trusted. They never expected anything other than friendship,” she wrote. “If I had a bad day, they'd come over and hang out, watch tv, play games, and do homework, etc. The BIGGEST thing: They treated me like an equal.”
Take The Time To Listen
Sometimes if a loved one is having a bad day, the best thing to do is simply lend an ear and acknowledge their feelings, as one user learned with his girlfriend.
“My girlfriend works in an industry dominated by men with god complexes that objectify her all the time,” wrote one user. “I feel helpless to do anything besides hear her out, believe her, agree that they are chauvinist pigs, and give her a hug. I've been concerned that there's more I should be doing, but it's nice to hear that apparently what I've already been doing is helping.”
Say It Louder For Those In The Back
It’s heartbreaking to become interested in a guy or even begin dating him only to learn that he wasn’t interested in you as a person, but rather, getting inside your pants. One Reddit user pointed out that even today, women are still viewed as sex objects and not people, and it’s a mentality that needs to be taken out with the trash.
“Treat women like unique, interesting human beings instead of potential girlfriends or hookups.”
Compliments
Compliments can often go a long way, but some women point out that they'd rather be complimented on their personalities than receive superficial comments about their appearances. For some, these types of compliments were so impactful that they still remember them years later.
“One of my male coworkers once complimented my thought process. He said that I approached things philosophically,” wrote one user. “And I have never ever ever ever forgotten that compliment... That is the one and only time a dude has offered a compliment (no strings attached) that wasn't about my appearance.”
A Proper Introduction
It can be awkward standing with your significant other when they’re chatting with someone you don’t know, and no one likes to be the third wheel.
One Reddit user suggested immediately breaking the ice. If they take the liberty of introducing you to their friend that you don’t know, it removes any awkwardness and welcomes you into the conversation.
Hershey’s Kisses
“My boyfriend brought me my favorite candy bar, for no reason at all. Just to see me smile. He listens and remembers things I say so he can make me happy later. He's seriously amazing,” wrote one user.
Random gifts of chocolate? Marry. That. Man.
Smash The Patriarchy
Despite it being 2021, women are still constantly devalued, mansplained, and harassed. One thing women shared that they want men to do more of is defend them if a misogynist or creep is harassing or belittling them. Some men believe that it’s solely a woman’s fight, but fighting sexism is something everyone needs to be a part of.
“Stand up for me if someone does or says something sexist (whether you are in a relationship or not),” wrote one user. “My husband is really great at this, one of the many reasons I married him.”
Please Don’t Overthink This
An important thing to point out is that these are suggestions of things women want the men in their lives to do more of, such as their husband, boyfriend, a close male friend, or a guy they’re crushing on. Unless you enjoy restraining orders or getting slapped, you probably shouldn’t try these tips on a random woman if you’re a total stranger!
So, ladies, did we miss anything? What are some small gestures you wish the men in your life did more often? Let us know in the comments!
